I'm 37 weeks today...no more procardia (medication to stop contractions) for me. I think I've been in early labor for a least a week...I've started dilating and thinning out and the contractions definitely aren't those painless Braxton Hicks anymore...they feel like my chest is closing up and make it hard to breathe at times.
My appointment yesterday went well but my midwife wants me to come back for an ultrasound on Tuesday. When I first started going there I was disappointed because they told me I would only have one ultrasound around 20 weeks unless medically necessary. I've had 2 more since then, one because my stomach was measuring smaller than it should have and one because my first NST was non-reactive. They checked the baby's size at the first one of these and she was measuring right one track with my due date. At my appointment yesterday, my midwife measured my stomach and then asked me if we had done an ultrasound to check her size and make sure she's doing ok and I said not since the end of the second trimester. She didn't say specifically why she wanted it done but she wants to check her size and my amniotic fluid.
I was happy at first so I didn't question it. A fourth ultrasound when I thought I'd only get one! Another chance to see my baby and how she's developing. And Jake's going to try and take a half day so he can spend the afternoon with me! However, as I was leaving the office, the over thinking started. As I was leaving I realized she didn't tell me what my stomach was measuring and she has every other time. Does she think Adelyn is too big or too small? If she's too big will they induce me soon? If she's too small does that mean there's something wrong with her that's causing her to not grow? I haven't put on any weight since my appt at 33 weeks and it's now 4 weeks later....is Adelyn not gaining weight? And now I have to wait until Tuesday to find out. I'm trying to just relax and trust that if she thought something life threatening was wrong that she would have sent me for an ultrasound right away. Maybe she's just doing this to ease my mind because I brought up how some people say because my stomach is so small that I must be having a small baby and other people say they were really small, too and then had a 9-10 pound baby. Maybe she's just being safe rather than sorry.
Either way, I would really appreciate prayers. Prayers for Adelyn's health. Prayers for a safe and healthy delivery. Prayers for my over active mind to be at peace this weekend. I'm just so ready to meet her and for unexpected things to not pop up anymore. But I'm starting to realize that parenting is just a life full of the unexpected. Things will never go according to my plans again (not that they ever did before...God has a way of having better plans for me). I won't feel this calm peaceful feeling that she's ok once she's finally here...I don't think I'll ever be able to not worry about her again. And that's where the prayers come in :)
Happy Easter weekend to everyone! I'll either be spending mine with family and house hunting or in the hospital having a baby :) Take time to remember all that Christ has done for YOU...and He would have done it for ONLY YOU! How can I even think to worry and not trust Him with my life and my daughter's life when He gave His life for me!
4 comments:
It may not seem like it now, but all this and the delivery will all be one long, flowing story you write down one day so you don't forget the little details. Be sure to write it down! :)
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday.
You are right - you will never stop worrying about her, not even when she is a mother herself :-) But you have to turn it over to God. I remember something your Grandma Wehrheim said. Her cousin, Adele, was visiting and Aunt Jane and I were telling her we were driving to Champaign to see your future Uncle Brian the next weekend or so. Cousin Adele asked Mom how she could let us go that far by ourselves and wouldn't she worry. Mom said "Sometimes you just have to pray and then let God handle it." I know she spent a lot of time praying for us, I spent a lot of time praying for you and Bekah, and you will spend a lot of time praying for Adelyn. And yes - if the midwife was really concerned she would have sent you to the hospital for the ultrasound. She is just trying to pinpoint your due date more closely since she and the doctor sort of have different opinions on that :-) And no matter what, God is in control and He knows exactly when Adelyn will make her appearance. He already knows her intimately.
Praying for you! <3
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