Good Reminders

Well, yesterday was another day with another twist in the journey of this pregnancy.  Since Friday, I had felt very little movement from Adelyn so I called labor and delivery yesterday morning and they wanted me to come in for another NST just to make sure everything was ok.  Naturally, on the way there Adelyn was already moving more than she had been.  Everything is fine and she was doing great...just scared everyone a little bit.  And they told me always better to be safe than sorry.

After coming home, I just felt exhausted...all of the stress of the weekend seemed to finally have taken it's toll on me.  We relaxed all afternoon and washed baby clothes so we could sort them and get the smallest sizes in her dresser.  It was a pretty low-key evening and by bed time I was wiped out.

Most nights, I've been sleeping hard until about 2 or 3 in the morning and then I'll wake up and be up for hours wide awake.  Last night I still woke up a lot just from aches and pains of sleeping while pregnant....it's mostly my hips and thighs that seem to be hurting the most at night so I'm constantly rolling over to relieve the pain on one side. Thankfully, every time I woke up last night, I felt Adelyn kick at least once...and they were GOOD kicks...not measly little stretches. I think that probably helped me fall asleep right away instead of staying up and worrying.

One of the times I woke up I did stay up a little just praying for Adelyn and reflecting on God's mercy and grace in this situation.  It's been rough but it could be so much worse and I know that. We've been so blessed by this little life already and we haven't met her yet.  I was reminded, once again, that God loves her more than I will ever be able to.  Then Psalm 139 popped into my head.

If we're being honest, sometimes I feel guilty because I don't have that overwhelming motherly love most of the time.  When I feel her moving is when I feel closest to her but I very rarely have that "heart bursting" fullness that mothers seem to have for their babies.  I've talked it through with Jake a couple times and I've realized...I really don't KNOW her. It seems almost silly to expect that I would have deeper feelings for her than someone I've known for years and years.  I'm constantly amazed and processing the fact that she's OUR baby and she's going to be made up of parts of Jake and me.  But last night this Psalm popped into my head and I realized, she may be part Jake and part me but GOD is the one who put those parts together in the first place.  We sure didn't plan for this baby to come at the time that she did but God has known since the beginning of time that this is where we would be right now.  He knows everything about this little girl. All I really know is that she likes to curl up in a ball with her feet over her head and Kesha music makes her kick like crazy (which I'm not proud of...haha).  God knows more about her than I will ever know about her and He loves her more than I will ever be capable of.  That's such a comforting thought to me.  The God of the universe cares for and loves my little baby so much.  That knowledge allows me to stop worrying and to take this pregnancy one day at a time.   I just needed to get these reminders out for the next time I start worrying and trying to take control over situations that God already has control over. I'm so glad God has chosen us to be parents to this little girl and I can't wait to meet her once she's fully grown and ready to join the world :)

30 Weeks

Ugh...this week started off amazing. We had a 4D ultrasound, a Christmas present from Jake's parents, and it was so surreal.  I still have this disconnect in my mind when I see ultrasounds that THAT baby is inside of MY body. I don't think it will seem real to me ever...maybe after she's born but I don't know. I think I'll still have to remind myself that she was inside me. And yes I'm already that mom that posts way too many pictures of her child. So enjoy.

Sleepy baby...I think she looks like her daddy here.

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Little smiles :)

Those are indeed her feet.....on the top of her head. And her hair!

I love this one. I feel like she's got her hand in her face just shaking her head and smirking "Mom and Dad you have no idea what you're getting into"

Love her sweet face

Anyhow, back to this week. It was going great...just like any other normal week, until yesterday.  Around 1:30pm I started having contractions about every 10 minutes. I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions since I was like 20 weeks so I'm used to it but these were definitely rhythmic and they got worse when I stood up and were accompanied by a lot of lower abdominal pressure. So I called my doctor's office and Jake came home early from work since we're down to one car so that he could take me to the doctor. I don't know how to explain what happened without getting a little medical and maybe too TMI so....sorry? She did a fetal fibronectin test which tests if I have a certain hormone that is released 2 weeks prior to going into labor. She also checked my cervix and said it was definitely closed but felt really soft so they sent me over to the hospital to have a steroid shot to mature Adelyn's lungs in case she decided to come early and to have another non-stress test done.

We were supposed to have our first prepared childbirth class last night and instead I spent it in a hospital bed thinking I may be going into childbirth. I cried pretty much the whole ride to the hospital.  We got there and they gave me a pill that my midwife had prescribed me to stop the contractions...and about 15 minutes later I started having them every 5 minutes and they were getting a little stronger. They wanted to give me another pill but it lowers your blood pressure and mine is always really low anyway so they couldn't. They came in and gave my the steroid shot and I'm so glad Jake was there. I was so jumpy...I couldn't see what the nurse was doing and every time she touched me I flinched and jumped. It was definitely not fun but Jake was able to help me relax which ultimately probably helped keep the pain to a lot less than it would have been if I was there alone.  

I ate a little dinner and they rolled me on the side to help stop the contractions.  They weren't showing up on the monitor but I was still feeling them. However, my midwife called and said the fetal fibronectin came back negative so there was a 99.7% chance that I would not be having this baby in the next 2 weeks so they sent me home and told me to rest. 

I slept hard last night when I slept but I was up a lot during the night when I did wake up.  There's just so many thoughts consuming my brain. I'm losing weight since they put me on this diabetic diet, even though I feel like I'm eating more often. At our ultrasound Sunday, Adelyn had only gained an ounce in a week in a half. The doctor told me sometimes skinny girls just have a fickle uterus that has a lot of contractions. So all of these complications are related to MY body, not the baby.  I know Adelyn isn't even here yet but I can't imagine going through all of this with a second child now that I know what I'd be getting into.  I expected to have a normal, problem-free pregnancy.  Instead, everyone in the doctor's office knows me and every problem I've had. They recognize me on site and give me looks of pity and concern every time I go in and something else is wrong.  Jake and I originally talked about only having 2 biological children and adopting many more after that...maybe God is telling us to adopt more and not have anymore biological kids.  As Jake and Hannah have told me...get through having this baby first.  I just tend to get way ahead of myself.  And I feel like it's maybe a little selfish of me to be thinking this way, but I don't think I ever want to be pregnant again.

On top of that, I'm still having contractions every 5 or 10 minutes...they aren't strong but I'm noticing them.  I'm just afraid that if this continues for the rest of the pregnancy that I won't even know when I'm truly in labor until it's way too far along.  I'm drinking a ton of water and staying off my feet as much as possible but they just aren't going away. I'm trying to just pray and not worry but it's hard. I just pray that God would protect Adelyn...I'll go through the contractions and uncertainty and worrying as long as she's ok when all of this is over. Also prayers that the contractions would just stop until it's actually time to have the baby in about another 7-10 weeks would be great :)

To any of you still reading: sorry for such a long post and no pregnancy highlights this week.  I just can't bring myself to have a normal weekly post when all this is going on.

Not 30 weeks

So awhile back we had our 20 week ultrasound where they told me they were going to go with the April 11th due date that they originally had instead of the April 19th due date that they got at my 6 week ultrasound. So all of these tests they've been ordering have been based on the April 11th due date. Such as the non-stress test I had yesterday when I was supposed to be 29 weeks and 6 days. The non-stress test was non-reactive because baby girl is stubborn and didn't accelerate her heart rate until after I'd been in that room for over an hour and the doctor had ordered an ultrasound.  Then she started cooperating...obviously. She passed the biophysical ultrasound test thing with flying colors.  So then I had a doctor's appointment. The first one with my midwife who is actually delivering my baby since all of these complications started. She said in my chart the doctor had written that I wasn't supposed to have the non-stress test until next week but when he verbally gave the nurses the orders he said 1 week instead of 2. My midwife then went on to explain that she was going by the April 19th due date because first trimester ultrasounds are accurate within 3 days and I was only 28 weeks and 5 days so I shouldn't have had any of the testing done. Buhhhh.  Baby girl was measuring for an April 14th due date at the last ultrasound so I think I'm technically somewhere in the middle. At our 20 week one she was measuring for April 13th.  Either way she's pretty much right on track growth wise and weight wise.

In other news, I wish I had met with the dietitian about gestational diabetes a week ago.  When they told me I had gestational diabetes I started cutting out carbs everywhere that I could. Met with the dietitian and a diabetic educator yesterday and both were like you should never diet when you're pregnant and told me I need 15 servings of 15 grams of carbs a day. Obviously, I'm shooting for whole grain carbs and carbs from fruit and dairy and not from ice cream and potato chips but this girl can eat like a normal person again! So happy :) And I got my blood testing supplies and it doesn't hurt...like at all. Which is awesome. Although, the thought of sticking myself with a needle still gets me. I've only tested my blood sugar twice since yesterday but both times it has been WELL below the amount it's supposed to be under. And one of those was 2 hours after eating 3 pieces of pepperoni pizza :/ so it's good to know that even when I wasn't eating the healthiest of meals, I probably still was not doing any harm to our baby at all.  So I'm much more relieved now. Just praying that by eating a well balanced diet I can control my blood sugar, not grow a ginormous baby, and that it all goes away after labor. But it's not the terrible, horrible, awful thing I thought it was and would be. And they reminded me that IT'S NOT MY FAULT. Which I need to keep reminding myself. Hormones cause this to happen...not my bad eating habits that showed themselves every once in awhile.

So no pregnancy update this week since we've moved back 8 days in the pregnancy...more time to prepare for baby but I'm just ready to meet her now!

29 Weeks

Let's see...since last week we went on our babymoon! It was just the vacation we needed. Bought an adorable Vera Bradley diaper bag, did a lot of shopping and hotel resting. Nothing too stressful or jam packed and it was so refreshing. Which was good because at my doctor's appointment yesterday, I got some not so great news. I had to do the 3 hour glucose test and my 1 hour and 2 hour blood sugars were high so they've diagnosed me with gestational diabetes.  By the old standards, my 2 hour blood sugar would have been normal but they recently lowered it from under 165 to under 110 so I didn't pass. I know it happens to a lot of women, especially with the numbers being changed, but I somehow feel like I failed. I didn't eat the healthiest and I always felt a little guilty about it. Guess now I have a reason to be very intentional about what I eat. I'm sure going to miss ice cream though :( Right now, my prayer is that I can keep it under control with changing my diet and that it doesn't affect me after I give birth.

So from here I have weekly doctor appointments. I have to test my blood sugar twice a day every day and bring in my numbers every week. I'm also doing a non-stress test every week from now until I give birth. If I could just humbly ask anyone reading this to pray that I can control the diabetes with my diet, that it will go away once I give birth, that Adelyn won't be hurt or affected in any way by it, and that these weekly tests go well, I would so appreciate the prayers!

On to the fun updates!

This is as artsy as I get people...instagram.

Pregnancy Highlights

How far along: 29 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: +18 pounds total

Maternity Clothes: Most definitely.

Best Moment this Week: Babymoon :)

Gender: Baby girl <3

Movement: Pretty good. I did a kick count the other day and felt 10 movements in less than 8 minutes so she was definitely moving.

Food Cravings: Everything I can no longer have...haha.

Food aversions: Nothing new.

Symptoms/Changes: Obviously the diabetes. I also got my first leg cramp this morning. I had just woken up and went to stretch my leg and it hurt SO bad...especially since I was half asleep and that was a rude awakening. It went away quickly, though!

Sleep: Still tossing and turning. Some mornings I randomly wake up at 4am and will be up for at least an hour. I'll usually fall asleep just in time for Jake to get up and get ready. Thankful that I do not have a job that I have to be at so I can usually go back to sleep and get some rest. Just wish I could get on the same sleep schedule as everyone else.

What I am looking forward to: April 11th. Now more than ever I just want her to be here so I can be done with being pregnant. Although as I was typing that, she started moving and I could see my stomach moving...I will miss that.

28 Weeks

Sorry for skipping out on last week...it's been really crazy around here. Jake started his new job last week, I pulled a muscle by my ribs from coughing so much (it still hurts), a friend of ours had her baby and she had a lot of health issues (she still has to make a lot of progress but she's doing SO much better), I found out my glucose tolerance test came back high so I had to have the 3 hour fasting test done, my doctor's office tried to tell me they didn't take my insurance anymore because they were bought out even though when we asked them back in October they said nothing would change (Jake got that taken care of :) ), and at my appt on Wednesday my stomach was measuring small so I had to get another ultrasound yesterday. Whew. It's been a busy 2 weeks.

I don't have the glucose test results yet or really anything from the ultrasound other than what the tech could tell us. She said Adelyn's measurements were 3 days shy of her due date which is fine and the amniotic fluid is good as well. Adelyn is still a little girl (I'm extremely paranoid I'm going to have all these pink and purple clothes and then have a boy). And Jake and I are going on a babymoon this weekend so I'm just trying to relax. I have an appt with the doctor next Wednesday to go over all the results so until then I'm just gonna pray and assume everything is ok :)

No bump pictures today but I do have ultrasound pics!

She was laying across my abdomen with her head on my right side and curled on top of herself.  Those are her feet in her face.

She was being camera shy but we got a partial face shot. That's either her hand or her foot blocking the left side of her face...technically her right side I guess. I can just make out her little closed eye and her little nose. So precious :)

Pregnancy Highlights

How far along: 28 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: +16 pounds total

Maternity Clothes: Yep.

Best Moment this Week: Getting to see our little girl again :) Even if I was pretty nervous going in there.

Gender: Little girl :) 

Movement: Some days she never stops and other days I only feel her a little in the morning and a few times throughout the day. It's less kicks and hits now and more feeling her squirm and move all over. Such a weird feeling. I realized I'm going to miss it once she's here.

Food Cravings: Depends on the day. Some things just don't sound good and others do.

Food aversions: Nothing new.

Symptoms/Changes: My feet/legs fall asleep pretty regularly. Multiple times a week. I have to be really intentional about not sitting cross legged or with my feet under my legs or butt because they instantly fall asleep. It's a really uncomfortable feeling.

Sleep: I roll around a lot...which is a lot harder to do when you're pregnant, can't really use your left arm because your muscles in your side are in so much pain, and are sleeping with a body pillow. It takes me a good 30 seconds to roll over in bed.

What I am looking forward to: BABYMOON! It's going to be so good to get some us time away from everything else.

Diaper Dilemma

As we prepare for baby Adelyn to make her appearance, my husband and I keep having the same discussion....cloth or disposable diapers?  As we look at our budget and see how much we'd save on a monthly basis by doing cloth, we're all for it. Especially since I'll be staying at home and we'll be a one income family.  However, I have my days where I feel like disposable would be so much more CONVENIENT and I feel like being lazy and not doing a load of diapers in the wash every single day. Plus, the start up cost is like 500 bucks...which we don't exactly have just lying around. So we're kind of at a crossroad and can't make up our minds. Any other bloggers out there who have experience either way or maybe some helpful cloth diapering tips? I just don't want my whole life to start revolving around diapers and when we need to pack disposable ones to go out with us and when they need to get done in the laundry in order to not run out....but I guess that's the life of a mom, right? Suddenly your life revolves around a lot of things that you never thought it would. Anyways...any tips or advice would be appreciated!

26 Weeks :)

Phew...it's been a long time! Between the holidays and the 2-week long cold I've had, I haven't felt up to taking any weekly pictures or blogging. So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Crazy to think this is the year our daughter will be born :)

I don't feel like I'm any bigger than the 22 week picture! And she's moved down a little bit again.

Pregnancy Highlights

How far along: 26 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: +14 pounds total

Maternity Clothes: Either that or sweats and Jake's tshirts :) I bought my first two pairs of maternity jeans the other day. They're so weird haha.

Best Moment this Week: Finally starting to get over this cold. Except I pulled a muscle by my ribs from all the coughing so I'm still in pain :/

Gender: Girl! Adelyn Kaylee :)

Movement: She's either moving like crazy or I don't feel anything. When she is moving though it's often and hard. Crazy that a little 2 pound baby can make such powerful movements.

Food Cravings: Not much healthy stuff :/ I've really got to start eating healthier and quit all the fast food and pizza.

Food aversions: Nothing new.

Symptoms/Changes: My belly button has flattened out and is sticking out a little bit...haha. It's gotten hard to tie my shoes. I used to bring my feet up to the chair I was sitting on but I can't do that anymore so I have to have something in front of me to put my feet on. Other than that...not much that I can think of.

Sleep: Sleeping better now that I'm not coughing so much. Still tossing and turning a little bit. I woke up really early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep for awhile because I was getting so nervous about bringing a baby home....yikes!

What I am looking forward to: Getting a 3D/4D ultrasound :) For my Christmas present, Jake's parents are going to take us to this place in town that does ultrasounds and has a room with chairs and couches for the whole family to come and see...so excited!